Mixed Emotions

As of today, there are 50 days until spring.  This makes me happy.
As of today, there are 50 days until my 50th birthday.  This makes me____.
Sad?  Not really.  Glad?  Not really.  If you say old, I will cry.  If you say young, I shall hug you.
I’m just not sure how to process this number.
I don’t feel old–I am the picture of health.  I am able to enjoy a variety of activities for which I am thankful.

Devil's Tower-Wyoming
Devil’s Tower-Wyoming
But, after watching my almost 3-year-old granddaughter for four days, I don’t feel young either.
She's the blur on the left
She’s the blur on the left
I will be halfway to 100.  I am a grandmother x 2.  A GRANDMA.Christmas 2012
I could look at the number as being 25 + 25.  But when I turned 40, my husband jokingly told me he was going to trade me in for two 20’s.  I don’t want to hear about that math again.
I could say that I will be 5-0.  Change the name of the blog to Blonde Gardener 5-0.  It could be the gardening counterpart to Hawaii 5-0.  hmm..
I guess one consolation is that I will never be 50 squared because that would be 2500.
Maybe that’s why I grow so many heirloom flowers.
The peonies I have were given to me by my grandmother who got them from her mother.  They are at least 80-90 years old.   That’s one thing older than me.
The pinto beans I grow (Lina Sisco’s bird egg bean) can be dated back to the late 1800’s.
Lina Sisco's Bird Egg bean
Lina Sisco’s Bird Egg bean
The daffodils are from the early 1900’s (Irene Copeland, Butter and Eggs, and Carlton)
Butter and Eggs
Butter and Eggs
Irene Copeland
Irene Copeland
and I can’t forget garden must haves like cosmos, celosia and hollyhocks whose seed was given to me years ago and I have no idea when these flowers came into the garden scene.  (I’m certain it’s been more than 50 years though)
I’m glad we had this talk.  I’m feeling better already.