Mixed Emotions

As of today, there are 50 days until spring.  This makes me happy.

As of today, there are 50 days until my 50th birthday.  This makes me____.

Sad?  Not really.  Glad?  Not really.  If you say old, I will cry.  If you say young, I shall hug you.

I’m just not sure how to process this number.


I don’t feel old–I am the picture of health.  I am able to enjoy a variety of activities for which I am thankful.

Devil's Tower-Wyoming

Devil’s Tower-Wyoming

But, after watching my almost 3-year-old granddaughter for four days, I don’t feel young either.

She's the blur on the left

She’s the blur on the left

I will be halfway to 100.  I am a grandmother x 2.  A GRANDMA.Christmas 2012

I could look at the number as being 25 + 25.  But when I turned 40, my husband jokingly told me he was going to trade me in for two 20’s.  I don’t want to hear about that math again.


I could say that I will be 5-0.  Change the name of the blog to Blonde Gardener 5-0.  It could be the gardening counterpart to Hawaii 5-0.  hmm..

I guess one consolation is that I will never be 50 squared because that would be 2500.

Maybe that’s why I grow so many heirloom flowers.



The peonies I have were given to me by my grandmother who got them from her mother.  They are at least 80-90 years old.   That’s one thing older than me.

The pinto beans I grow (Lina Sisco’s bird egg bean) can be dated back to the late 1800’s.

Lina Sisco's Bird Egg bean

Lina Sisco’s Bird Egg bean

The daffodils are from the early 1900’s (Irene Copeland, Butter and Eggs, and Carlton)

Butter and Eggs

Butter and Eggs

Irene Copeland

Irene Copeland

and I can’t forget garden must haves like cosmos, celosia and hollyhocks whose seed was given to me years ago and I have no idea when these flowers came into the garden scene.  (I’m certain it’s been more than 50 years though)

I’m glad we had this talk.  I’m feeling better already.


About the blonde gardener

I'm an Arkansas girl born and raised. I garden in the beautiful Northwest part of the state (zone 6b or 7) surrounded by the Ozark Mountains. My favorite part about the area is we have 4 distinct seasons and are able to enjoy a variety of activities. My main passion is gardening but I also enjoy hiking, birding, 4-wheeling and motorcycle trips. Basically anything outside. Thanks for stopping by! Brenda
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18 Responses to Mixed Emotions

  1. Tammy says:

    I think you have been blessed with so many things. You have so many talents. The pretty, joyful Brenda I know can cook food that melts in your mouth, you sew beautifully creative baby blankets, you grow your own garden, you grow chickens in your newly designed chicken pen, you can and the list goes on and on. My friend you are just beginning the best part of life! You are free to create anything you want or hop on the motorcycle with your hub and go anywhere. You are so blessed!!


  2. Holleygarden says:

    It’s just a number. My parents (late 70’s) have just now decided they’re getting “older”. Not old, yet. Just “older”. 🙂 So, see, you’re just a spring chicken!


  3. Nice way to put things in perspective…wish I thought my great-grandmother’s Arkansas peonies would survive up here in RI.
    Oh – and by your calculations, that makes it 52 days until my birthday. I’m younger, but not by much 😉


  4. Rin says:

    Flowers passed from generation to generation are wonderful, they will keep you young for all time.


  5. Peter says:

    Welcome to the club! 50 is the new 30 don’t you know. So far, I’m loving this decade more than any of those previous. Face it, you’re fabulous so don’t let a number worry you!


  6. Jan says:

    Remember age is just a state of mind and as you know I’m still a kid at heart. Your are very lucky, you have your garden to work in, you have your cooking to experiment with, and you go interesting places! Being a GRANDMA is PRICELESS…even if the little bugger-bears wear us out. So cheer-up and look on the bright side as we get older we can say what we want,do crazy stuff and others just expect it. So enjoy turning 5-0 and get out there show the world 50 is just a stepping stone on the pathway of life….Happy Birthday Wishes Early! Love You…Jan 🙂


    • Jan, you are so right. It’s just weird because it happened so fast! One minute I’m rocking my babies and the next I am rocking their babies. I am grateful for a good life and looking forward to many more years. Love you, too!


  7. You look WONDERFULLY youthful for almost 50. As pretty as your flowers, so don’t sweat it.


  8. Welcome to the club! I can relate to your blog (by a couple years now…ouch). Interesting about the pinto beans. My son is an organic farmer and into all that.
    Keeping busy keeps you young and looks like you do a lot of that! Hope you can check out my blog too. “50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years.”


  9. It’s only half a century. Not so bad. He he. 🙂


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