I am being invaded by grasshoppers.  Not just a couple or a few but thousands.  Possibly millions.  Maybe a gazillion!

They are devouring everything green and leaving bare sticks in their wake.
I can not get rid of them.  At this point I am only using organic methods and this is what I have tried so far:
Semispore bait–a bran-like flake they eat which turns them into cannibals.  Gross!  This method takes some time to work (about 2 weeks) and I have applied it 3 different times.  Which is probably over kill but remember…..I have a gazillion!
Plan B.  Neem Oil–a spray that should repel them.  It says so on the label.  The photo above shows arugula sprayed with Neem Oil.  See how repelled they are?
Plan C.  Food grade Diatomaceous earth (DE)–My non-techie definition of DE is this.  It is microscopically like glass.  It looks like talcum powder and when any bug with an exoskeleton goes across it, it will dehydrate them and they die.   I debated about using this because it also kills earthworms and I like earthworms.  So my brilliant reasoning indicated that I should sprinkle the leaves with DE instead of putting this on the ground.   Don’t mess with this gardener!  (evil laugh and wringing of hands)
Final conclusion:  Grasshoppers are the devil.
Then I discovered a way to tolerate them courtesy of my 2 year old granddaughter.

A driver and putter work best
You hit them with plastic golf clubs,
Using a loud, outdoor voice
while singing twinkle, twinkle little star
and wearing really cute shoes.